Throughout my career transition process, one of my biggest challenges has been developing the ability to embrace my imperfections, to love and accept everything that’s part of me and that I used to consider unlovable.
There were a lot of things about myself that annoyed me or made me feel ashamed of myself: my anxiety and the desire to get everything done by yesterday, my lack of focus, my struggle to stay in the present, my laziness when it came to physical exercises, my fear of not being accepted or loved by others and even proper physical aspects, such as not being comfortable with my body or thinking that my voice was annoying and so on.
All of this combined constantly paralyzed me and left me wanting to go to a dark room and never come out. However, my purpose was so clear to me and my internal desire to make it happen so great that I decided to face it all.
The big difference was that this time I decided to deal with everything in a completely different way than I had before.
I’ve always been like “If I’m bad at something, I’m going to do all the training courses and activities and read all the related books that I can, so that I can become reasonably good at it”. It’s not by chance that I’m always joking that my life has been made of just a few moments of rest inbetween courses and books. However, that wasn’t enough.
None of us are perfect; there will always be something about ourselves that we wish was different and even if we can change something, other things will always remain not perfect. Should you take more courses? Look for more help? Read more books?
Look, I’m not saying that educating yourself is wrong. On the contrary, that can really help us in several different areas. What I’m getting at is that doing only that is simply not enough.
My big insight came when I started to think about the people I love. I love them as a whole, not just the beautiful characteristics and qualities they have, but also, and especially, their flaws or aspects they’d deem as unlovable themselves. The fact that they’re human, thus not perfect, made me love them even more.
So maybe if I started to love myself, love those parts of me which are unlovable, I would no longer feel the need to hide them away nor be ashamed of them. On the contrary: knowing that they make me even more human would make me a happier person!
Since then I’ve been focusing on that! I try to laugh at each one of my mistakes every day and I try not to be ashamed of showing them. On the contrary: I’ve been fully experiencing my vulnerability.
And what have I gotten out of all this? I’ve been a lot less scared of making mistakes, I’ve come to love myself and care a lot less about pleasing others. I’ve even realized that some of the things I used to deem unlovable were actually great qualities and I’m definitely a lot more satisfied and happier!
Here’s my invitation to all of you to try and take a closer look at everything that you have that’s unlovable J
Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/artmeetingpoint/